margaritas yummy!

well Antonio sure knows how to make a mean margarita... tonight was fun with aaron even though he fell asleep. I am on strike officially from starbucks and the babysrus overpriced crap...... it is so late but I will ramble anyways earlier I had so much to say but after a long time chatting online words seem few. Been working on the house -how much I would like to be done and start living again ever since we have moved in it has been something- I guess I am so spoiled with the new houses I have lived in most of my life this is such a chore with rocky yard and a old house on top of a interested baby. I really wish I felt like my contributions mattered more to this family. I wish we had some support like my family around-not that I want someone else to take care of my responsibilities but it would be nice to have some experienced trustworthy people in my life for a change. I feel sad about aaron he tries to be a good husband/provider I am not knocking him but I really think I have higher expectations and that sounds bitchy but we are on diff wave lengths says hippie gary? so its a wait and see I think once the house/work/life settles a bit -wait settles like in settles your standards that is not good? well I am still working on this and wavelengths and all of the above to fig out things so this is it for now..........the way it is.

My poor confused husband..

I'll tell you one thing he sure thinks he's clever....... trying to be funny and currently mumbling in the shower saying who knows what- this happens often lately a lot in his sleep as well and I stay up listening thinking he is actually talking to me as I am wanting to fall asleep and can't. I feel that I am a very tolerant person considering the fact that my house and life feels constantly turned upside down daily with a 10 month old. He works late, doesn't answer his phone, responds to my emails on a rare whim, acts like a second child, thinks he knows everything applying this little known knowledge of things to create half way finished mess throughout the house and in the garage disaguising themselves as half motorcycles, torn apart engines, wood projects I will stop now but his endless a.d.d. mindset requires my stern sometimes not so loving approach to maintain control of the chaos -maybe I should give him more credit but you do not have to live in it. Ask him the latest thing is I am the brains of this operation and he is the monkey.. besides he is obsessed with banana phones- don't ask.